And then
by dawneh
Summary: Set at the end of Series 2 - Caroline has left with Guy - but they both know that was the wrong choice


And then…

PART ONE

Guy grabbed hold of Caroline's hand as they ran to the train, jumping onboard only seconds before the doors closed.

He turned to smile at this amazing woman who had just agreed to marry him. He still couldn't quite believe it. How quickly things had changed. And how different things could have been if Mac… Guy shook his head to clear all thoughts of Mac from his mind.

Caroline tugged at Guy's sleeve,

"Come on, there are some free seats.."

They moved along the train carriage to the seats that Caroline has spotted. Caroline dropped down into the seat next to the window, leaning her forehead against the cold glass as the train began to gather speed. For a second Caroline could see the hospital in the distance, she swallowed down against the lump in her throat as she wondered where Mac was.

Guy squeezed Caroline's thigh as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"I love you", he whispered into her ear.

For the first time in his life Guy was using those three words with no ulterior motive. Once a simple device to get the naive women of the hospital into his bed, Guy now realised that the words could mean so much more, that they could be used to reveal his true feelings. This was going to take some getting used to.

Caroline turned to face him, kissing him gently on the lips.

"I know,"

It wasn't exactly the reply that Guy had hoped for, but then again it wasn't a surprise either. In his heart Guy knew that Caroline wasn't in love with him. Oh sure, she was attracted to him, she fancied him, after all who could blame her, she was only human. But love? That was a whole different thing.

It was then that Guy realised he was making a huge mistake. Or rather that he was letting Caroline make a huge mistake. Could he really ask her to marry him knowing that her heart really belonged elsewhere? Could either of them be truly happy in a relationship that would only ever be one-sided?

Guy took hold of Caroline's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"I think you should go back."

Caroline frowned in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Go back and find Mac, before it's too late."

"Mac? But you know it's over between me and him, he couldn't even be bothered to turn up today."

"It's not that straight forward… there are reasons…"

"Reasons? Guy what are you on about? Is there something you're not telling me?"

Guy took a deep breath. There was so much he wasn't telling her. So much she deserved to know, but it wasn't up to him to tell her.

"Caroline I love you, but it's not right. Not like this. Go and find Mac, talk to him. And then, if you still want me, I'll be here."

Even as he said the words Guy knew that Caroline wouldn't be back for him, not when she caught up with Mac, IF she caught up with Mac. Guy glanced at his watch… it was later than he thought, Mac could already have gone.

The train began to slow as it pulled into the first station.

"Please Caroline, trust me, you need to talk to Mac."

Still confused Caroline got to her feet, something about Guy's tone let her know that what he was urging her to do was the right thing.

"I'm sorry Guy," she whispered as she got off the train, somehow Caroline knew that she wouldn't be back by Guy's side again, not like this.

Guy slumped back in his seat as the train pulled out of the station. So this is what love was all about? Sacrificing your own happiness for someone else's? Well balls to that! He wouldn't be making that mistake again any time soon. Just then a pretty blond woman across the carriage caught his eye. She smiled over at him. Guy straightened his tie before getting up and making his way over to her. Well, he didn't want to be single for too long now did he?

* * *

There was a screech of tyres as Mac pulled his motorbike to a stop. Just a few more feet and he would be leaving this city behind him. This city and all the people in it. He looked at his watch, Caroline would be waiting now. He wondered if Guy had arrived yet.

Mac closed his eyes, why did things have to get so complicated? Unconsciously he raised his fingers to hip lips, he could still feel Caroline's kiss there, was it really only a few hours ago that they were looking to a lifetime together. And now here he was, alone, running away.

"Fuck that!"

A couple walking past turned to look at Mac's outburst, his shrugged his shoulders in an apology before revving his engine, a squeal or rubber as he spun the bike around and headed back the way he had just come.

* * *

Caroline fidgeted nervously in her seat; the return train seemed to take forever to arrive. She still wasn't sure what was going on, but she knew in her heart that marrying Guy would have been a mistake, one that they both would have ended up paying for.

The truth was it had always been Mac, from the very first day she had joined the hospital there had been a spark between them, it has just taken time for them both to admit the fact. She still couldn't imagine what had happened to keep him away from the station, what it was that Guy wouldn't tell her. She wasn't even sure where she was supposed to go and look for Mac.

* * *

Mac quickly chained his motorbike up in the station car park before running to the platform. He already knew he was too late, there was no way she would have waited this long, even without Guy turning up in his place.

Mac stumbled onto the platform breathless, his eyes quickly scanned the crowds milling about, but there was no sign of Caroline. He cursed softly as he leant forward, his hands on his knees, pausing to catch his breath.

The crowds moved forward as the next train pulled into the station.

Dejected Mac stepped out of their way, leaning back against the wall.

He didn't know why, but as the train doors opened Mac looked up.

Caroline looked beautiful as she stood for a second framed in the doorway.

She glanced across the platform as she stepped down from the train catching a glimpse of Mac through the crowd waiting to board the train. Her heart beat heavily at the sight of him, she trembled as she moved towards him. Mac peeled away from the wall and began to walk towards her, slowly at first, speeding up until he was almost running.

They both came to a stop inches away from each other, neither of them spoke for a few seconds; instead they stood their gazes locked together.

Finally Mac broke the silence.

"Sorry I'm late."

"Are you? I hadn't notice. Only just got here myself!"

Mac closed the gap between them, pulling Caroline into a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry," he breathed into her hair.

"You should be," she told him, "you'd better have a good reason for standing me up."

Mac paused, squeezing Caroline even tighter.

"I do," he said, "We should go somewhere quieter."

Mac leaned forward, searching out Caroline's lips with his own, kissing her deeply with a long denied passion, for a moment the rest of the world ceased to exist, there was nothing but him and Caroline and the love they shared.

Reluctantly Mac finally broke off the kiss, stepping back he took Caroline's hand as they headed to the station exit.

"I love you Doctor Todd."

"I love you too Doctor MacCartney.

* * *

PART TWO

The afternoon sun shone through the window of the pub, casting a hazy light over the couple sitting there.

Drinks had been ordered and then quickly forgotten as the couple had found themselves a table in the thankfully quiet bar.

A silence hovered in the air between them, dancing with the dust in the sunlight.

Mac had sought out Caroline's hand as soon as they had taken their seat and he showed no intentions of ever letting it go. Contentment played across his face as he stared silently into her eyes. He had always loved her eyes. So gentle, so mysterious. He could spend the rest of his life just looking at her.

The words in his mind jolted Mac back to reality…"the rest of his life…"

Mac shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes moving down to stare at the faded tabletop. He was suddenly gripped with the feeling that he was doing the wrong thing. What right did he have to do this to Caroline? He should have carried on going while he still had the chance, taken his bike and ridden as far away as he could.

But the thought of Caroline brought him back. He needed her now more than ever.

Caroline curled her fingers tightly around Mac's before finally breaking the silence.

"Well?"

Mac self consciously cleared his throat, "Well what?" As if he didn't know.

"You said you had a good reason for standing me up… well what is it?"

"I… err… well the thing is…" Mac ran his free hand through his hair. Caroline was mesmerised for a second as his fingers travelled through his golden mane. Caroline was gripped with a desire to reach out and stroke those golden locks herself, but instead she dragged her gaze away, forcing herself to concentrate on whatever it was the Mac had to tell her. And it had better be good.

Mac was still struggling to find the words. He had loved her for longer that he'd been willing to admit, even to himself. He had had so many dreams for the two of them. Children… grandchildren… growing old together… and now he had to tell her that none of this could happen… he didn't have much of a future to offer her.

Finally Mac spoke. "I was just about to get ready to come and meet you when I got a call from Jon… he needed to see me."

"Jon?"

"Jon Jennings."

Caroline frowned. "Why would Dr Jennings want to see you? It's been months since the coma and you've been fine…"

A feeling of dread crept into the pit Caroline's stomach. "Tell me you've been fine Mac."

Caroline bit onto her lip to stop it trembling. Every inch of her being knew that whatever Mac was trying to tell her she didn't want to know. Perhaps Dr Jennings just needed a consult on a case… that could be what made Mac late… but somehow Caroline knew that wasn't the truth, why else would Mac be having such difficulty telling her?

"I was fine… I have been… at least I thought I was…"

There was a pause, neither of them wanting to say what they both knew. Somehow saying the words would make it real. But this time they couldn't run away.

"What is it?"

Mac took a deep breath, forcing the words out before he could change his mind.

"I had a few tests, scans, couple of weeks back, routine follow up stuff after the accident…" Caroline took hold of both of Mac's hands, holding on tightly, afraid to let go. "…there's a mass. On my brain. There's nothing they can do."

Even though Caroline had known what was coming, hearing the words tore through her like a knife, hot tears trickled unnoticed down her cheeks.

"Should I not have come back?" Mac's eyes were filled with pain, he couldn't help but think that Caroline would have been better off if she had never know.

"How long do you have?"

Mac remembered the look on Jon's face when he asked the same question. The sorrow that he couldn't give his colleague, his friend, better news.

"Months," Mac's voice was barely a whisper, "maybe six, no more."

Caroline took a deep breath. She rose from her seat, pulling Mac to his feet, she wrapped her arms tightly around him, burying her face in his chest. She could hear his heart beating, strong and alive.

She looked up into his eyes. Holding Mac so close was enough to take her breath away.

"Mac, we've wasted so much time, time that we could have spent together. Well we don't have that luxury anymore. Maybe we've got six months, but if it was only six days… six hours… then I would rather spend them with you than without. I'm glad you came back… and from now on I don't intend on letting you go."

Mac pressed his lips against Caroline's.

"You really are an amazing woman, " he breathed.

"And don't you forget it," she told him as she pulled him into a deeper kiss.


End file.
